


If there's an answer to the questions we feel bound to ask

by doomed_spectacles



Series: If I could love like anybody else [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Questions (Good Omens), Ficlet, First Kiss, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-22 04:21:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20868107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doomed_spectacles/pseuds/doomed_spectacles
Summary: A conversation in a parked car. Questions and answers and maybe something else, too.Or,Perhaps the humans weren't the only ones being tested that day. And if that's the case, Crowley decides what his answer will be.





	If there's an answer to the questions we feel bound to ask

**Author's Note:**

> (Yes, the title is Queen and I will not apologize. Innuendo is the best song in the universe.)
> 
> Companion piece (takes place after) [this one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20749514). You don't need to read both, but I'd be honored if you did.

[2019]

The Bentley's engine shut off and the sound of _Innuendo_ faded even though its driver didn't move his hands. One gripped the wheel, thumb tapping lightly. The other reached across the seat to hold Aziraphale's. Their hands had found each other about halfway back to London and hadn't let go. People streamed past the windows of the badly-parked vintage car in a rushing stream of night-time humanity. Shop windows and neon lights and the twinkling brightness of mobile phones provided an ever-changing lightscape reflecting off the car's shiny hood. An angel and a demon sat together inside the resting vehicle, silent.

"Do you really think She's still watching?" Crowley asked.

Aziraphale shifted in his seat, facing Crowley without letting go of his hand. He said, "I think so, yes."

"Cuz I've been thinking. What if she was testing us, too?" Crowley said, chewing the inside of his cheek.

"Heaven and Hell?"

"Well yeah, but also- us." He frowned. "You and me."

"Us?" Aziraphale's eyebrows raised.

"Yeah. They get tested, the humans, right?" Crowley nodded vaguely out at the stream of SoHo's inhabitants and visitors flowing past the Bentley, a dark stone in the middle of a human river. Aziraphale was silent. He moved his thumb lightly over Crowley's knuckles. "And the test isn't whether they go up or down, no matter what your lot say. Not really."

The edges of Aziraphale's mouth turned down slightly into a thoughtful frown. But he didn't argue.

Crowley continued, still not looking at the angel beside him. "The test is whether they love each other enough not to destroy themselves. To improve the world and be good despite the odds stacked against them by you-know-who." He held tight to Aziraphale's hand. His voice was far away. Not sad or angry, just far. "We do our thing, influencing them for bad or good, but - you said it, actually. That day. They're not good or bad, they're a third thing."

"Yes, well," Aziraphale said, looking at Crowley looking away. "Supposing that's true, where do we fit in? You and me, I mean."

Crowley didn't answer for a long time. He held on to Aziraphale, as if the place where their hands touched was the only thing anchoring him to the world. "What if they're not the only ones who are supposed to change? To get better?"

He finally looked at Aziraphale. His forehead creased above his dark glasses and his mouth was set in a determined line. He said, "What if our test - you and me - is to prove that humanity changes us, too."

Crowley looked away again, clenching his jaw. "What if I love you because it proves that we _can_? That _we_ can change, not just _them_."

Aziraphale froze, his eyes widening. He looked like he was afraid to move, or else he'd spook a wild animal. He wasn't entirely wrong.

Crowley tapped his free hand against the steering wheel, feeling out a rhythm only he could hear. He stared out at the humanity of SoHo, not really seeing them. Finally, he said, "Do you think She's watching right now? This very second?"

"I don't know," Aziraphale murmured.

"Because I'm going to do something I'm _really_ not supposed to, unless everything I just said was somewhere in the vicinity of right."

Aziraphale frowned, his forehead gaining several concerned creases. "Crowley..."

Crowley turned to face him and grinned. It was a high wattage grin, the kind of grin you plaster on before you do something massively stupid or one hundred percent correct. Or both. He leaned across six thousand years and kissed the angel in the front seat of his car.

Aziraphale didn't respond but didn't pull away, either. Their lips met briefly, just for a few seconds, but the world stopped and waited for them. Crowley pulled back, but only enough to look at Aziraphale's stunned face.

"You have the funniest look on your face," he said.

"You surprised me!" Aziraphale sounded indignant. Indignant and flustered. Indignant, flustered, and very much in love.

Crowley's hand left the steering wheel. He gently held the back of Aziraphale's head, bringing him closer. He kissed him again. This time when their lips met, the Earth kept spinning and Aziraphale kissed him back.

It seemed like a very long kiss but wasn't, not really. Crowley let go of Aziraphale. They breathed each other's air and both of their hearts remembered to start beating again. Their hands were still together, pressed into the upholstery of the seat between them.

Crowley grinned again. This time it was the sort of grin your face can't help but make when you kissed your best friend and didn't get punched. "Why are we still in the car?" He bounced in his seat, jumping out the door without looking for oncoming traffic or pedestrians. He walked around the front of the Bentley as if both his legs and hip bones were made of springs that had sprung in opposite directions. He rounded the hood and opened the passenger door with a flourish, dramatically holding his arm out for Aziraphale to take.

Aziraphale's face hadn't quite recovered. He smiled the stunned smile of someone who'd been unexpectedly and thoroughly kissed. He took Crowley's arm and exited the car.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [doomed-spectacles](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/doomed-spectacles) on Tumblr also.


End file.
